$%^&£*&$'s!!!!

So imagine the scanario if you will...after arriving back from my trip, i blearily wake on a monday morning, walk outside to go to work...my car has completely vanished, like 'poof' mid-air, no idea. so i rack my still half asleep brain, and come up with a few possibilities:
1. i actually drove to the airport and took the train back in a state of jetlagged confusion...no, i definately remember getting the train to the airport
2. its been stolen...hmmm, inconvenient but opnly a lease car...although it did have my sheffield united sticker in the back..grrr to that
3. i parked it around the corner....no, 10 mins of wandering the block told me otherwise
4. it has been reposessed due to an admin error...aha! that will be it...so i called the car people, and managed to find then only norwegian who doesnt speak english (well, apart from the famous hairdresser incident when i first arrived...and we all know how that turned out...well you dont...but sounds better if i say you do)

conversation went as such...
me: erm this is mr parkes, i am a long term customer of yours
car people: hei hei (i forget if they actually said that, but its about one of four norwegian words that i know so i thought id show off)
me: eeeeerrrrrmmmm....do you have my car?
car people: nei (number 2 of 4) dont you have it?
me: erm not exactly
car people: where is it?
me: erm i dont know
car people: oh
me: oh
insert pregnant pause...
car people: maybe it was towed...heres their number xxxxxxx
me: tusen takk (thank you) (3 of 4)..in fact i didnt even say that at all...im lying

so, i phoned the traffic gestapo/police (i hate these people, ive paid them £200 in ridiculious charges this year)

me: erm...do you have my car?
gestapo: ya vee have your car (imagine fake world war 2 crummy film accent...again a lie...artistic licence)
me: erm why do you have my car?
gestapo: (ill stop the accent) it was parked illegally
me: no it wasnt, it was parked in a legal parking spot where i always park it, outside my house
gestapo: well you see, on wednesday we put up a temporary no parking sign on your road, your car was still there on thursday so we towed it
me: but i was away on business all week
gestapo: well, you need to check your car every day
me: but i was away all week!
gestapo: its the rule
me: (sounding like a petulant 4 year old child) but thats not fair!!
gestapo: its the rule
me: but its not fair! etc etc..
gestapo: silence (but thinking 'its the rule;...i could tell)
me: how much to get my car back?
gestapo: £300
me: £300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so let me get this straight, i park my car legally, go away for a week, you put up a temporary 24 no parking sign, tow my car, take the sign down, and charge me £300!!!????
gestapo: yes, its the rule

aarrgghh! so i had no option to get a £30 taxi to get my car and pay £300 for the privilege...unbelievable